


forever (and the day after that, and the day after that)

by angstics



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Adam Parrish Loves Ronan Lynch, Hugs, Lindenmere (Dreamer Trilogy), M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Opal, Pre-CDTH, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish, The Barns (Raven Cycle), some minor cdth spoilers, ugh can you believe it? they LOVE each other, uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:54:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21672505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstics/pseuds/angstics
Summary: university is fast approaching. how does ronan deal with the fact?“Why— love me?" Because you have hopeful eyes. Because you twist your fingers when you think something is strange. Because your contradictions match mine. Because you don’t think before you laugh, so when you do the sound gleams like gold. Because, somehow, I’d been falling since I saw you.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 2
Kudos: 64





	forever (and the day after that, and the day after that)

Ronan was looking onto the distance, eyes half-heartedly trailing a swooping Chainsaw. She blazed up like a bullet, then dropped like a boulder, then twisted in a circle like she was performing for a circus. Ronan knew this was her way of playing. Although Ronan usually enjoyed indulging her by throwing small trinkets her way to catch, he didn’t partake in her silliness today. Nerves were too heavy within him; the action would’ve make him sick. No, he can watch for today. The glee in Chainsaw’s squawks kept him company for a long time before the patio creaked beneath where Ronan sat. 

High above him was his partner, the steady and naught Adam Parrish. _Partner, boyfriend, lover_. The words were automatic by now. How long had it been? Almost a year. Ronan clearly remembered where he was last September. It was the beginning of Ronan, dreamer, and Adam, magician. It was Greenmantle and near-death experiences and Glendower. This September was both quieter and more chaotic. The most notable improvement was that no one was trying to kill him. But everything was changing. This September meant Gansey and Blue starting their gap year on the road, Opal living in his new Lindenmere, and Adam moving across the coast to Cambridge. Everything was different but him. He had no other plans but to stay at the Barns and dream. As he had the day, the week, the month, the year before. His life stretched on and on but he couldn’t see his loved ones anywhere in sight.

Adam’s blank face reminded him off all that.

He sat next to Ronan, rigid-boned. From a distance, Ronan thought, they must’ve looked like statutes. This was all so strange. This long year wove them together like a tapestry; uncomfortability was a long lost artifact of their language. Now, it came crawling back. Ronan thought the moment called for Adam to lean on him. Or maybe he should be leaning on Adam. Maybe this uncertainty was why neither of them leaned.

Moving day was coming up soon. Very soon. Ronan supposed Adam should’ve left long ago to get accustomed to the campus, but he was very satisfied that he chose to stay for as long as he did. The weekend reached towards him quickly. A dual farewell party was being held at the Barns, under the lead of Sargent and Cheng. Dual farewell. Ronan wasn’t apart of the ‘farewelling’. He would say hello again and again to his Barns.

Adam wasn’t the type to leave things unsaid for long. Though what came out was usually right outside the line of discussion.

“Why me?”

Ronan wasn’t the type to leave things unanswered for long. “Why what?”

“Why choose _me_ ? Why—” Adam paused. “Why— love _me_?"

Ronan thought it was a simple enough question. A new answer jumped out every moment. _Because you have hopeful eyes. Because you twist your fingers when you think something is strange. Because your contradictions match mine. Because you don’t think before you laugh, so when you do the sound gleams like gold. Because, somehow, I’d been falling since I saw you._

But Ronan didn’t voice any of those racing thoughts. A small part of him thought they were embarrassing. Another part thought that those things were only his to hold on to, his to reflect on, his to analyze.

Instead, Ronan said: “It’s unbearable, sometimes, how much.” He smacked his lips, cracked his knuckles, blinked a dozen times. Through the negative space, the silence eased bitly. Adam finally let go of the pressure on his shoulders and relaxed his fingers onto the wood panels. Ronan was encouraged. “There isn’t a corner of the world I wouldn’t follow you. Even spiritually or whatever the fuck. That isn’t even a good question, Parrish. Why you? Because you’re the only person I want to wake up to every morning. For however long. Forever. Whatever.”

_Forever_ was a plausible word on long summer afternoons like this. Ronan felt he could stay here, with Adam, forever. Just them, the sun, and Chainsaw’s unrestrained swallows. “I can still transfer to some place better for us.”

Ronan from a different life — one where he was still deprived and had become someone else because of it — would’ve jumped onto the opportunity like a piranha. But Ronan here knew that nothing but Adam’s undisturbed choice would be the best for Adam. Ronan loved him; he wouldn’t let him compromise with himself for Ronan.

“No. Go to Harvard, do fucked shit with your smart-ass friends, be the good person you are. Just—” Ronan knew the words he wanted to say. He knew because he’d been turning them over and over in his head for the past year. _Just come back to me_. Was that too much? Was that another piece of himself that he couldn’t share?

But Adam, lovely and knowing, was already touching Ronan’s arm like it was a pillar. “I will. A hundred times over. Always, always.” _Forever._

Ronan dragged Adam closer to himself and hugged him the best he could while sitting. The firm touch of Adam’s fingers on his back charged him like a 15-volt battery about to explode. He could run a marathon all the way to the mountains, to Lindenmere, to Washington, to Cambridge, and back. He could, he would, and he will.

The day loomed over him, with Chainsaw still joyously swerving in the air. This hug, this Adam, this house; they were all forever. Ronan chose this for himself and they chose him back. He could wait for forever.

**Author's Note:**

> i may or may not be obsessed with these two. kudos, comments, and bookmarks always appreciated. thank you for reading.
> 
> @angsitics on tumblr | @winsome-and-brave on tumblr (trc/dreamer trilogy side)


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